An Introduction to the Samurai Way in ‘The Challenge’ (1982)

By
Iron Fist
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Scott Glenn, Toshiro Mifune and the Way of the Samurai.

The Challenge is a 1982 martial arts masterpiece and one of my all time favorite action movies. Set in modern day Japan, it tells the tale of two brothers. One a corporate titan and the other a modern day Samurai – fighting to reunite two swords called The Equals that have been in their family since Feudal times. They were separated after one of the brothers betrayed the family and stole both the swords. One of the Equals was then lost during World War Two. What follows is both brothers quest to find and reunite the swords.

An American Samurai Story

When the second sword is discovered in America, plans are made to smuggle it back into Japan using a broken down American prize fighter named Murphy, played by Scott Glenn. Once in Japan, the whole plans goes to hell as Murphy is taken hostage and brought before Hideo, the evil brother who will stop at nothing to get the sword he stole back. It is then revealed the sword he was smuggling was actually a decoy. Before Murphy can be killed, he escapes but is gravely wounded before being rescued and brought back to the ancient compound by the other brother’s forces.

Here, he meets Yoshida, played by the legend that is Toshiro Mifune, who lives life as an ancient Samurai where he trains his disciples in Bushido and the ancient arts of the Samurai, as he prepares to fulfill his life’s destiny in reuniting the swords. We are given a window to this strange world through the eyes of our ugly American Murphy, as he is nursed back to health and eventually sent packing back to America.

If it ended here it would be a short movie but the fates have other plans as the evil brother’s minions make Murphy an offer he can’t refuse. Go back and ask to be taken on as a pupil and when the opportunity presents itself, steal the sword. For this, he will be paid handsomely. Refuse and be killed dead. Needless to say, Murphy chooses the former, is accepted and begins his training. But something in Mifune’s teachings about honor takes root, and when presented with the opportunity to abscond with the sword, he has a change of heart. Good thing because the Master seen through his ploy and had a number of archers ready to put Murphy down if he attempted to leave the compound with the sword.

Murphy Goes Full Samurai

So having proved himself, Murphy’s training begins in earnest. As any action movie aficionado will tell you, the training montage is always a highlight of these movies. This is no exception, as Murphy is trained using ancient methods. After proving his humility by being buried in the ground for five days, rivaling the Masters record, he is then given a crash course in the exquisite samurai sword, archery, throwing stars and the empty hand martial art of Aikido. And none too soon, because Hideo again comes calling, kidnapping the Master’s niece. Yoshida-San will now need all the help he can get rescuing her and reuniting the swords.

Gone was my disconnect of Samurai films set in feudal times. Here, we get to see Mifune running around in the modern day in all his glory in full Samurai regalia, as he and Murphy use the ancient ways to infiltrate the compound, defeating the modern security measures and an armed paramilitary force. The then fight their way to the final showdown on the top floor of the villain’s corporate headquarters.

The brothers duel of honor for the swords in one of the finest sword fights put to film as we are treated to the ancient art of clean cuts and beautiful parries, before a bullet fired by one of the baddie’s minions renders Yoshida incapable of finishing the duel. Luckily, neophyte Samurai Murphy is up to finish the battle. What follows is pretty much the opposite of the first round as Murphy is slashed and chased around an office as he turns the sword fight into a bruising brawl using everything at his disposal, including his western boxing skills to survive. Needless to say, honor is bestowed and the swords are reunited.

Steven Seagal, Choreographer

The martial arts choreography was done by some guy named Steven Seagal, who I understand went on to bit parts in the action genre. His Aikido is evident in a scene where Murphy takes on an assailant armed with a tanto blade wielded in a reverse grip. The movie has also gone by the titles The Equals and Sword of the Ninjas. If this were made today, we would have a spinoff TV series on Murphy’s continuing adventures and training at the feet of the master.

With The Challenge, we were gifted with a true Samurai movie geared toward American audiences and our attention span. It serves as a travelogue of Japan, as well as an introduction to Bushido and the ancient arts of the Samurai This is a truly important movie that is only masquerading as an action film. Dare we call it art?

This author wishes to maintain his secret identity goes by the name of his favorite comic book hero Iron Fist. When he’s not collecting comics from his childhood, watching action movies or raising his three kids, he works a a police officer, trains Muay Thai, Jeet Kune Do, Kali and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Needless to say, he takes poor martial arts or sloppy gun handling skills personally. And he lives and trains in Chicago.

Remo Williams: Fred Ward as America’s James Bond

By
Iron Fist
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Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins (1985)

I was raised reading a series of pulp novels entitled The Destroyer.  It told the story of a NYPD cop whose death is faked as he’s recruited into a top secret government organization called CURE, tasked with eliminating the enemies of America. In change of his training to become a master assassin is Chiun – Korean master of Sinanju, the sun source of all martial arts. The heart and soul of the series is the father son relationship that developed between master and pupil, as Chiun realizes his charge may be the reincarnation of the ancient god Shiva the Destroyer.  Needless to say chaos ensues in a series of novels with some of the most hilarious dialogue in literature and the best kills using martial arts as the oriental martial arts master trains his American doofus.

The Adventure Begins

So in 1985, Hollywood came calling, changing the name to Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins, miscasting Fred Ward as the lithe assassin and in the worst case of white washing in casting buried American thespian Joel Grey under a ton of makeup to play the Korean master. According to Richard Myers In his opus book Great Martial Movies, this was once a role Chuck Norris coveted but couldn’t land. He goes on to quote Warren Murphy, the series creator as saying “They could have made Rambo. Instead they made Dumbo.“

What followed was a movie that forgot that its source material was rooted in martial arts, played by an actor with no skills. It consists of boring training montages, lame dialogue, a hero dodging bullets and running across cement likes its rice paper and the worst martial arts on screen until Iron Fist came along. It does have a single great action sequence as our hero tries to get over his fear of heights while being hunted by a team of assassin atop the Statue of Liberty. Once that sequence was over, we are left with a movie about getting to the bottom of a military procurement scandal…by assassinating everybody involved.

I often wonder if I wasn’t raised on the source material if I wouldn’t have walked out of the theater like I just saw Highlander 2. I think the answer is yes. This was an enjoyable action movie that the layman could watch and then forget about. But it did have a great poster and a hummable theme.

An American James Bond

Remo Williams was supposed to the first in a series of films of a American James Bond franchise but unfortunately it fell flat with fans, critics and box office. But this didn’t stop Hollywood from attempting to spin it off into a TV series in 1988.  A pilot was filmed starring Jeffrey Meek – went on to play an American ninja in the 1992 TV show Raven. It was so bad, it only saw the light of day because of a writer’s strike. And sadly The Destroyer hasn’t been heard from since with even the books moving to an E-publisher.

So Hollywood, if your listening, put aside your Tomb Raider reboots and revisit this property.  We Americans still want our own James Bond and The Destroyer Remo Williams fits that bill.

This author wishes to maintain his secret identity goes by the name of his favorite comic book hero Iron Fist. When he’s not collecting comics from his childhood, watching action movies or raising his three kids, he works a a police officer, trains Muay Thai, Jeet Kune Do, Kali and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Needless to say, he takes poor martial arts or sloppy gun handling skills personally. And he lives and trains in Chicago.

How Jackie Chan Changed Action Movies For The Better

By
Ultimate Action Movies
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Rumble in the Bronx (1995), a.k.a. the end of the classic action movie genre

Before 1995, action movies were pretty much slugfests and shoot-em-ups. The action formula was tried and true: a guy with (a military/a police/a kickboxing) back story finds himself battling (a terrorist/false charges/the head of a large business conglomerate/a kingpin/a killer) and must (fight/shoot) his way out the situation, all while saving a (buxom/hot/smart and hot) woman who doesn’t like him at first but does a complete 180 before the climax of the third act.

Very few action movies diverted from this formula, that is until the U.S. was finally introduced to Jackie Chan in 1995 with Rumble in the Bronx. With it, a new action formula was introduced to the masses and the classic action genre died with it.

Action goes international

In 1995, the international box office wasn’t really like it is today. Film companies weren’t relying on China and Japan to boost box office grosses. Sure, the international rights to many American movies were sold to add a little bit to the bottom line, but box office grosses were measured in U.S. dollars. 

Action movies were some of the most prominent movies to have a major impact on the worldwide box office. With limited dialog they were easy and cheap to overdub, and who doesn’t like action movies? Thinks blow up, people get shot, the good guy wins. Those are things that translate everywhere.

By the mid-1990s, Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger were household names all over the world, and they had paychecks to match. At the same time, American audiences were eating up action movies starring traditional action stars like Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme, as well as action-ish movies like The Net, Virtuosity, Johnny Mnemonic, Bad Boys and Kiss of Death.

They all had one thing in common – they we all very American films. If you wanted anything with some real kick, you had to head to the video store or watch The Movie Channel late at night. There, you might find movies starring Sammo Hung, Cynthia Rothrock, Don “The Dragon” Wilson, Cat Sassoon, Michelle Yeoh and, of course, Jackie Chan. This was about to change.

Welcome to Canada … I mean New York

In October of 1994, Rumble in the Bronx began filming in Vancouver, Canada, about two months before Jean-Claude Van Damme’s Street Fighter was set to be released. The film had a modest budget, about $7.5 million, and starred Jackie Chan – a star of Hong Kong cinema whose career spanned back to the early 1960s. Despite this, Chan had never been formally introduced to American audiences (he did appear in Cannonball Run I & II, but those movies don’t really count).

Chan had a unique screen style. He was funny, charming and acrobatic. His stunt scenes were the stuff of legend – especially amongst videophiles whose combed through video stores in search of hidden gems. He would literally bleed (or break bones) for his art. He was an international star – except in America.

His movies weren’t your typical shoot-em ups, they were masterful displays of stunt coordination and athleticism. He was not the usual action star by American standards. He didn’t deliver one liners. He didn’t slowly lumber with a big machine gun. He didn’t snap necks. He wasn’t a big, muscly guy. Maybe that’s why movie producers didn’t see him as a good fit for American audiences. They were wrong.

The day the action movie died, and was reborn

Two years later, after already proving itself a massive hit in Hong Kong (earning almost $57 million), Rumble in the Bronx was released in American theaters. Earning $34 million, it was a hit. Suddenly, Jackie Chan was everywhere.

Films from his existing catalog (Supercop, Legend of Drunken Master, Twin Dragons, Mr. Nice Guy, First Strike and more) were acquired, re-edited, and re-released for American audiences. Action junkies couldn’t get enough. This is the star they were looking for – someone who was not only an action hero on screen, but a guy who DID HIS OWN CRAZY STUNTS! He jumped off buildings, hung off helicopters, climbed walls, swam with the sharks, and fought opponents with strength and agility that had never been seen before.

Jackie Chan created a new action genre, and at the same time killed off old one. If you scroll through the box office receipts from some of the biggest action stars, you can see there is a definite line. There’s before Jackie Chan and After Jackie Chan. For example:

Jean-Claude Van Damme: Street Fighter earned $99 million in 1994, The Quest earned $57 million in 1996.

Sylvester Stallone: Judge Dredd earned $113 million in 1995, Copland earned $64 million in 1997 (1996’s Daylight fared better, earning $160 million with an $80 million budget).

Arnold Schwarzenegger: True Lies earned $378.9 million in 1994, while Eraser earned $242 million in 1996.

Steven Seagal: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory earned $104 million in 1994, while The Glimmer Man earned $20 million in 1996.

What changed?

After getting a taste of Jackie Chan, audiences simply expected more from their action heroes. A big guy with a big gun no longer cut it. Heroes needed to be stronger, faster, more athletic, and be likeable. Enter Jason Statham, Jet Li, Michelle Yeoh, Chow Yun Fat – stars that gave audiences what they craved – real physical action.

These stars, with the exception of Statham, who were once regulated to the video store shelves were now driving the box office, while the tried and true American action stars were forced to release their big budget actioners direct-to-video. It was a major shift, but one that in hindsight wasn’t totally unexpected.

I love Rumble in the Bronx. I remember seeing it in the theater thinking, “who the hell is this guy, and how can he do that?” I also remember watching Sudden Death around the same time, and even though I was a huge JCVD fan (and still am), it just didn’t do it for me anymore.

After Jackie Chan, action just wasn’t the same.

Article by Eric LaRose – a Wisconsin-based connoisseur of action, horror and sci-fi movies from the ‘80s and ‘90s. A former journalist and podcaster, Eric wrote the ending to the Toxic Avenger Part 4, but the only person who will back up that claim is his wife.

Let us know what you what you think in the comments or on our Facebook page!

Why ‘Pray for Death’ (1985) is the Ultimate Ninja Movie

By
Robb Antequera
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Sho Kosugi, Ultimate Ninja Warrior

As a child of the 80s, I grew up with a lot of awesome things. Saturday morning cartoons. Comic books. Wrestling. Stuff you can see and get nowadays, but they were a lot better in the 80s. Especially ninja movies. Ninja movies were a prime staple of the 80s. Godfrey Ho practically made his career churning those bad boys out. Yes, the ninja movie craze was one of the bright, shining action subgenres of the amazing 80s. And during that craze, one man was declared the chosen one. The alpha ninja.The real champion of the ninjas (Sorry, Richard Harrison). And that champion’s name… is Sho Kosugi.

Sho Kosugi: The Alpha Ninja

Born Shochi Kosugi, he came to America at 19 to seek a better education. He was also a champion martial artist, and it was with that expertise that saw him dabble in minor film work. Then, in 1981, he rose to prominence as the antagonist in the early Cannon Group cult classic Enter the Ninja, parlaying that into an epic movie career where he personified the badass Ninja for innumerous fans around the world in such films as Revenge of The Ninja, Ninja 3: The Domination (both also made by Cannon), and 9 Deaths of the Ninja, just to name a few. But one film sits above the rest as the most ultimate display of ninja awesomeness. His crowning achievement. Ladies and gentlemen, that film is… Pray for Death.

Kosugi plays Akira, an ex-ninja master who has given up his former life to start a family with his wife Aiko. Burdened by the guilt of his actions as a ninja, and wanting to give himself and his family a fresh start, he decides to move with his wife and 2 sons, Takeshi and Tomoya (played by Kosugi’s real life sons Kane and Shane, respectively) to America. But after running afoul of some mobsters, they become a constant target of torment. Pushed to his breaking point, Akira now has no choice but to resurrect the Ninja within…

Pray for Death marked the final ninja film for Kosugi. And in my opinion, he easily saved the best for last. Written by James Booth, who also wrote the Michael Dudikoff action classics American Ninja 2: The Confrontation and Avenging Force, as well as co-starring as one of the most reprehensible bastards in movie history, Limehouse Willie, this movie is a dark, nasty, violent piece of ninja action. Made in the vein of movies such as Walking Tall, it perfectly blends the vigilante genre with the Ninja genre. And Kosugi gives his best performance as a man who is trying his hardest not to resort to his old ways, but as push comes to shove, and his family’s lives are constantly endangered, he will do whatever it takes to protect the ones he loves.

Now, here are 3 reasons why Pray for Death is the ULTIMATE NINJA MOVIE.

1) Sho Kosugi at his best

Sho Kosugi seems to be underrated and under mentioned within action movie discussions, and that’s a shame, because he is a true pioneer in the 80s action genre. Where would Michael Dudikoff be if not for Sho Kosugi and his ninja movies?? David Bradley?? Pierre Kirby?? What would even Godfrey Ho have done without Kosugi?? Nothing. Nowhere. So you can thank Kosugi for that. And in Pray for Death, he fires on all cylinders.

He is the meanest, scariest hero to ever grace a movie screen. No joke. In the scene where he tells the investigating officer to not stand in his way, you are genuinely scared. You know he is completely pissed off now, and nothing’s gonna stop him from getting his revenge. Honestly, when was the last time a lead actor generated such a genuine moment of terror in an action movie?? Bruce Lee. Chuck Norris. Sho Kosugi deserves the same recognition as these titans of action cinema. At least in my opinion he does.

2) The Climax

After his glorious suit up, Akira locates the mob hideout and proceeds to dispense some of the most awesome ninja violence to ever be documented…

Have you ever wanted to know what would happen if you took the climax of Commando, and replaced Arnold Schwarzenegger with a very angry Sho Kosugi in badass Shredder cosplay? Well, look no further! This is without a doubt one of the greatest action sequences ever. The most ultimate ninja movie climax. Bar none. Seriously, I challenge anyone to find a better action scene in a ninja movie that is more epic than this one. Go ahead. I’ll be here waiting. But I know I’m going to be waiting forever, because you’re never going to find one. Not one. One that can even compare. Arrows through the heart, ninja stars to the face, samurai swords through the neck, just an incredible onslaught of raging ninja fury as one by one, the bad guys pay dearly for their vile indiscretions.

3) Back to the Shadows

I really don’t have to say anything. I could just leave this clip here and it alone will prove my point. For this is the best “Gear Up” scene in all of action movies. Better than the gear ups in Commando, Raw Deal, etc… I’m dead serious. That intensity. That song. It’s perfection. Simply badass perfection. This scene is so badass it’s scary. I mean, who can look at a really pissed off Sho Kosugi preparing to commit some badass ninja violence and not be terrified of the man?? Look at him! He’s terrifying!! He is so terrifying, Chuck Norris looks under his bed every night for Sho Kosugi!

And that song. That glorious, glorious song. Sung in a heavenly voice by Peggy Abernathy. Back to the Shadows is one of the top 5 action movie theme songs ever.  A lot of action movies have great theme songs, but this one is pure magic. It ties in so perfectly to the moment, and the movie on a whole. It details a man’s descent back into the darkness of violence, but plays like a love song. Like how Akira must resort back to his ninja ways because of the love for his family. Perfect choice.

Pray for Death. The Ninja Movie equivalent to a Mic drop. I can see why Kosugi left the genre after this. There was nothing left to accomplish. He had done it all. He made an appearance in the 2009 movie Ninja Assassin, and while that was a real nice touch, the film itself just couldn’t compare to his previous work. And damn sure couldn’t compare to Pray for Death. It’s over, guys. Kosugi has got this game won.

Bow down to the master.

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5 Underappreciated Action Movies of the 1990s

By
Ultimate Action Movies
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Neglected but not forgotten.

The 90’s were a strange, fluid time for action flicks. The old model of making them – a huge star would be the lead, the budget would be in the high millions, there’d be a ton of blood and one-liners thrown about, along with f-bombs – was changing into a safer, more teen friendly genre, with The Fast and Furious and xXx just around the corner.

Audiences were primarily younger, and didn’t wanna see superhuman tough guys obliterate a thousand bad guys with guns and knives and fists and feet. The box office began to drop off for usually reliable action stalwarts, and some of their better movies fell by the wayside. It was sad… and unfortunate, because some of these movies are quite good. Classics? No. But entertaining as hell. 

Here’s the top 5 underappreciated action movies from some of our favorite stars in the 1990s.

5. STRIKING DISTANCE (1993)

It’s no secret. Even the star of this movie, Bruce Willis, hates it. He’s been critical of it in several publications and even said it “sucked’ on a talk show. Bruce’s reasons for not liking this movie are his own, but for audiences, there’s a lot to like about this actioner. Bruce plays his familiar rough-around-the-edges cop in this predictable, but action-packed thriller. After failing to catch a serial killer, and testifying against his brutal partner in court (a big police no-no), a disgraced policeman (Willis) is demoted to water patrol… and finds himself being taunted by the very killer he was pursuing. Look, the plot for Striking Distance is full of holes and doesn’t stand up to close scrutiny, but it’s the no-holds-barred action scenes and excellent location filming makes this by-the-numbers pic stand out.

The movie opens with an awesome car chase, scored by the always reliable Brad Fiedel, that tears across the streets of Pittsburgh, and ends with a pretty cool boat chase through the city’s murky waters. In between, we get a nifty gunfight on a boat and a car/boat pursuit that ends with a fiery explosion. What about Bruce? He’s his wise-cracking, burnt-out best, even in one of his lesser vehicles. Definitely a big slice of 90’s action film-making, Striking Distance was a critical and box-office bomb when it was released, but it’s a movie I return to quite often. It’s a heap of fun and a great way to kill 100 minutes.  There’s also a great supporting cast made up of memorable character actors like Robert Pastorelli, Tom Sizemore, Dennis Farina and John Mahoney.

4. MAXIMUM RISK (1996)

Street Fighter: The Movie died at the box office… AND killed Jean Claude Van Damme’s burgeoning career along with it. For me, its number one fatality was 1996’s Maximum Risk – a fast, glossy and gritty thriller that saw the Muscles from Brussels flex his acting muscles along with, well…his regular muscles. Van Damme plays twins again in this film: one is a Russian mobster, the other a dedicated soldier. The two worlds collide amid the chaos and violence of corrupt government agents, hot babes and dangerous stunts. There’s also a pretty cool bath house fight in the middle of the movie that is awesome. And the acting side? As I mentioned, Van Damme is given more to do in this movie than beat and kill. He has to mourn and grieve for his dead brother, and for the life he never had with him. He’s never gonna be confused for Tom Hanks in the acting department, but Van Damme gives it his all in the emotional scenes. It’s certainly one of his better efforts.

The only negative I can say for the movie is that the finale, which promises to be epic, kinda dies before it starts, and the ending is less than satisfactory.  Of course there’s a gorgeous chick for JCVD to swoon over in Species hottie Natasha Henstridge, but her role is a pretty one-dimensional, but she is nice to look at. Hong Kong helmer Ringo Lam made his US debut with this entertaining flick.  Shame he never got to do more stuff in the states. He has a great eye for action and drama. What could have been…

3. THE GLIMMER MAN (1996)

If 1995’s Se7en and 1987’s Lethal Weapon had a baby, the result would probably be The Glimmer Man – a bizarre mix of cop-buddy-action-comedy and serial killer thriller that was D.O.A. in fall of 1996 when it opened to lacklustre business and reviews. Steven Seagal plays a mysterious cop who is partnered with another streetwise (and wisecracking) Detective, effectively played by Keenan Ivory Wayans. The mismatched duo soon discover that the grisly murder case they’re working on is somehow connected to Seagal’s shady past with the government. Convenient and lazy is really the only way to describe the plot of this movie, but it doesn’t really matter, because at heart The Glimmer Man is another excuse for Seagal to beat Hollywood stuntmen to a pulp while looking suave and debonair. Warners, the star’s then home studio, tried to spice things up by introducing the witty, urban Wayans into the mix, and the experiment works to some degree – although Wayans gets all the best comedic lines. Like Jim Belushi in Schwarzenegger’s Red Heat, Wayans is the comedic foil to Seagal’s straight man – who is too busy breaking limbs to be funny.

While it looks like no one’s heart was really in this outing, the movie does have some good action scenes, moody atmospherics and a creepy score by Yes frontman Trevor Rabin, and the violence is strictly hardcore. No PG-13 gunfights here, instead we get bloody headshots and impalings. Vintage Seagal? No. But nowhere near as bad as it’s made out to be, and better than most of the action fare that comes out today. 

2. ERASER (1996)

Although Eraser managed to rake in $100 million dollars at the US box-office when it opened in summer of ’96, the movie has never been regarded as one of Arnold’s “greats”, which is a shame considering it was pretty much his last hurrah as the 90’s primo action hero. Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a mysterious government agent who protects witnesses by faking their deaths or making them disappear, eg, he “erases” them. When his latest assignment, involving the beautiful witness to industrial treason, Lee Cullen (Vanessa Williams) goes sideways, Arnold discovers someone inside his beloved agency is dirty, and selling secrets to the bad guys. Cue explosions, fist fights, shootouts, car chases, hungry, limb-chewing crocodiles and a pretty nifty stunt involving Arnold freefalling in a parachute while dodging a circling jet, that sees the jet come off second best.

Eraser is pure 90’s action gold. It’s got everything anyone could want from this film: crude humor, foul language and explicit bloodshed. Plus it’s got Arnold striding through all the carnage like an Austrian God! I had a blast with Eraser when I first saw it, and I really enjoyed seeing manly legend James Caan as Arnold’s mentor/arch nemesis, and Vanessa Williams adds some depth to her thankless role as the hunted heroine.  While the effects and plot aren’t a sturdy as his collaborations with writer/director James Cameron, Eraser is a neglected gem in the Arnold film canon, and one that is worth revisiting.

1. LAST MAN STANDING (1996)

This film sounded like a dream come true for me when I first heard about it: Bruce Die Hard Willis starring in a movie directed by Mr. Walter 48 Hours Hill. This could be awesome. Was it? YES!!  The box office was not kind to the movie, and it barely lasted in theatres. Shame. For this retelling of Yojimbo is a solid, bloody and brutal western gangster movie that still holds up today. Bruce is a Chicago gangster, fleeing his troubles, who stumbles upon a dusty dried up jerkwater town called Jericho. He soon learns that two rival gangster families are fighting it out for control of the booze that runs through the town’s dying streets. What’s he do? Decides he can make some money for himself by playing both sides off against each other. But he doesn’t count on this little thing called a conscience (something’s he’s always avoided till now) getting in the way, until he decides to help a beautiful Mexican woman who has been enslaved by one of the town’s low rent gangsters. The message of the movie is pretty much no good deed goes unpunished!

The more Bruce tries to be the good guy, the more trouble, and pain, he gets into. By the end of this laconic, moody actioner, Bruce has every gun in town after him, including Christopher Walken, in a creepy turn as a mob enforcer.  What’s he to do, but fall back on his one skill. The gun! Which brings us to the action set pieces. There are plenty, and they’re all well done and brutal. Hell, Bruce nails a dude with a pair of .45’s within a minute of the opening credits finishing. That’s a bold move. Unlike modern action cinema now, where the action is stretched out to epic proportions, Last Man Standing’s scenes of mayhem hit you like a .44 magnum between the eyes. The gunfights are jarring, fast and loud. And final. No one gets up wounded. They’re all face down in the dirt, where they belong. 

Hill assembled his usual creative team with this pic, editor Freeman Davies and cinematographer Lloyd Ahern, and they haven’t been better. But a special shout out must go to composer Ry Cooder. His score for the film is a thing beauty. Dark, menacing, scary, peaceful, exotic, haunting. It’s all of those things rolled into one, and it shows what a versatile, and highly underrated, composer Cooder is. And what about Bruce? He’s never been cooler in a movie than this one. Years of killing has left him broken and empty, and you can see it in his dead eyes. He’s not looking for redemption, and he sure as well wasn’t expecting to find it in Jericho. Critics complained that Willis played the part like the Terminator, but they missed the point. This isn’t a movie about posturing. It’s about mucho dudes getting things done. Bruce conveys everything he needs to in this movie using the old school Bronson way – with his eyes and face. At heart, this is a minimalist action picture, one that was wrongfully ignored, and it deserves a rightful place next to other action classics. Check it out. You won’t be sorry.

From a small country town where not many films played, Kent Church grew up on a steady diet of Coca Cola, horror magazines and action movies on VHS. If the movie didn’t have Chuck Norris or Eastwood on the cover, he wasn’t interested. His one core belief: Arnold Schwarzenneger must be President!! And James Woods vice –President…

Let us know what you think in the comments!

What The Expendables Series Got Right (and What it Got Wrong)

By
John Acquavita
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Ultimate Meditations on Stallone’s Expendables

Co: Why did they pick you? Because you like to fight?
Rambo: I’m expendable.
Co: What mean “expendable”?
Rambo: It’s like someone invites you to a party and you don’t show up. It doesn’t really matter.
Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)

Dream projects in Hollywood almost never get off the ground. Even if money wasn’t a factor and you disregarded budget, syncing the schedules of actors, a director, producers and the myriad staff needed to film such a collaborative effort is nearly impossible.

But in 2010, Sylvester Stallone — who previously had managed to create legendary screen characters out of both Rocky Balboa and John Rambo — did the impossible.

What began as every fan of the genre’s dream — What would happen if the greatest action movie stars of the 1980s were crammed into a modern movie? — came to fruition when The Expendables was released in movie theaters around the globe. It starred a who’s who of action movie heroes from yesteryear (Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts); professional wrestler Steve Austin and mixed martial arts legend Randy Couture; and Terry Crews and Mickey Rourke rounded out the group.

While far from a perfect movie, the mere presence of the aforementioned actors coupled with the over the top violence more than made up for it. News recently broke that Stallone wants to proceed with a fourth Expendables film, expanding the trilogy into the rare action quadrilogy. Before that occurs, I wanted to delve a little deeper into the series, highlighting both its hits and misses and helping to steer the ship in the right direction for its next film.

WHAT WENT RIGHT?

Starting with The Expendables, just getting the film made was an accomplishment unto itself. Anything after that is gravy. Showcasing a variety of actors, weapons and fighting styles, I don’t think a movie of this magnitude will ever be made again

1) The Basketball Court Scene

You can’t talk about this movie without bringing up Jason Statham’s “basketball court” scene. Statham’s character (Lee Christmas) is a globe-trotting man with a mysterious job. Because of his inconsistent domestic situation, he has difficulty maintaining a long-term romantic relationship with Lacy, played by Charisma Carpenter. One day after driving to see her, he notices she is sporting a black eye. Then this happens…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VKAggGisCc

Many people will agree with me when I say it’s far and away the movie’s best scene.

2) Mickey Rourke

As a winner of a slew of awards related to his illustrious acting career, none of the actors in the series is nearly as accomplished an actor as Mickey Rourke. Stallone wisely gave the man a dedicated scene to truly shine, and I honestly think nobody else in the series could have pulled this off as well as he did.

3) Easter Eggs

Another thing Stallone and crew got right were Easter eggs: subtle (and sometimes not to subtle) nods to the audience about the filmographies of certain actors. For instance, having Eric Roberts portray the film’s antagonist was a reference to 1994’s The Specialist, where he played the bad guy opposite Stallone’s good guy. Another nod was Stallone naming Lundgren’s character Gunner, a nod to 1994’s Men of War. (I doubt every audience member got that one.)

Also, in the final movie of the series thus far, the movie opened with the team busting Wesley Snipes’ character out of jail (Snipes had been incarcerated for years after failing to pay his taxes.) In 2012’s The Expendables 2, what I (and I suspect many others) would argue is the trilogy’s best film, the Easter eggs were abound. It’s almost as if they threw whatever they could at the wall to see what would stick. Chuck Norris would join the cast as Booker (a reference to 1978’s Good Guys Wear Black). Well after the online expiration date had passed on the Chuck Norris Facts — humorous exaggerations of Norris’ otherworldly feats and capabilities — the film made a point of including a scene showcasing one.

4) JCVD as the “Villian”

In The Expendables 2, none other than Jean-Claude Van Damme was cast to play “Vilain”, i.e., the movie’s main villain. Whereas normally JCVD would play the hero, as the villain he absolutely chews up every scene he’s in! If you watch this movie for one reason, let it be the Muscles From Brussels.

5) Arnold and Bruce

Also in EX2, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis got expanded roles from their lone scene in the first movie. Again, keeping with Easter egg tradition, nods to former roles (lines of dialogue such as “I’ll be back!”) were sprinkled throughout. Yes, they overdid it a bit and it somewhat bordered on overkill, but is there too much of a good thing when it comes to action here legends? Sometimes you just have to sit and enjoy the ride the movie takes you on.

6) The Weaponry

Earlier I mentioned the variety of weaponry used in the series. We’ve all seen guns being fired a million different ways over the years, but the first Expendables film dusted off two Western tropes that had long been forgotten: classic six-shooters and knife throwing. Both were done superbly on-screen.

7) Mel Gibson

JCVD wasn’t the only inspired baddie casting choice. Mel Gibson was exceptional as Stonebanks in 2014’s The Expendables 3, a former Expendable cast member long thought dead, but since turned to the side of villainy. After having been excommunicated of sorts from Hollywood for years for anti-Semitic ramblings during a DUI arrest, Gibson bounced back well with this role. Like Stallone, Gibson has two iconic screen characters on his resume (Martin Riggs in the Lethal Weapon series and the title character in the Mad Max series), so it was refreshing to see him take on an antagonist role here.

8) Antonio Banderas

In 2014, The Expendables 3 was released. In terms of positive things to say about the movie, I’d be lying if I wrote it’s good. It’s not, so I won’t go into that in this section. I will say Stallone tapped the very talented Antonio Banderas to portray Galgo, a take on his exemplary Puss in Boots character from Shrek 2 and several spinoffs of its movies. (Banderas played the antagonist Miguel Bain in 1995’s forgettable Assassins, but it’s important to note Stallone was the lead in that film.)

WHAT WENT WRONG?

To move plot, or not to move plot? That is the question.

While The Expendables was a blessing in itself, it wasn’t very strong, plot-wise. I suspect that has a lot to do with having a large cast: you can’t possibly incorporate a great deal of characterization and back stories when you’re trying to move a plot forward, especially an action one. (I strongly feel the G.I. Joe universe suffered from the same problem, which is why each episode or comic only featured a few characters at a time.) But in the grand scheme of things, that can be overlooked. We’re not watching these movies to experience Shakespeare.

EX3: OMG

The Expendables 3 is easily the weak link in the series’ chain. After flip-flopping on a decision to maintain an R rating (and stay true to its audience, albeit limiting ticket sales) or lightening the rating to a PG-13 (thus broadening its potential audience, at the expense of alienating its main audience), producers whiffed badly. Violence was reduced, more jokes were peppered in, and the overall tone of the film was more light-hearted compared to the first two — not what you should be going for when you feature this much action movie talent.

In addition, while the movie did manage to squeeze in a few more legends (Harrison Ford and the aforementioned Snipes), some casting choices left the core audience scratching their collective heads. Ronda Rousey, Kellan Lutz and Kelsey Grammer (FRASIER!) all have no business being in this movie.

WHERE DO THEY GO FROM HERE?

Before any casting choices are made, the movie needs to be rated R. That should be a given.

When people are cast, fillers should be avoided. The movie should feature action movie heroes, not youngsters. Nobody cares about them; people just do not want to see them in an action movie. Finally — and I can’t stress this enough — if you have a series titled The Expendables, some characters need to perish. There was a rumor that Terry Crews’ character (Caesar) was supposed to die in the third one, but he whined enough to have the character live. This isn’t “The A-Team”, where thousands of bullets are comically strewn about every television episode. Rather, it’s a movie series about a team of mercenaries prepared to pay the ultimate price in pursuit of a payday. Let some of them pay that price.

If not, it’ll feel like the producers are telling the audience they’re expendable.

Let us know what you what you think in the comments or on our Facebook page!

How Do The 3 Seashells in ‘Demolition Man’ Work? 3 Ultimate Theories!

By
Jourdan Aldredge
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3 Seashells

So, did Sylvester Stallone ever figure out how the “Three Seashells” work?

Sylvester Stallone giving props to the three seashells.

Sylvester Stallone is unarguably an ultimate action movie all-star. From Rambo to Cobra to Over the Top, he’s about as bankable as they come. Here at the UAMC, one of our all time favorites is Demolition Man (1993), which stars Stallone with Wesley Snipes and Sandra Bullock (and everyone’s favorite lil buddy Rob Schneider).

One mystery though has plagued fans of the flick for years… What are the three seashells in Demolition Man and how do they actually assist with taking a dump? Ultimate Action Movie scholars have long pondered their actual role in the defecation process. And now we present our top three theories.

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1) It’s a Prank They Play on Everyone

Ha-ha. You just got unfrozen after 40 years and now you’re an easy target for pranks and jokes. Judging from Rob Schneider’s face punch-ability, this seems on brand for the guy.

Sandra Bullock and the rest of the crew also seem to enjoy Stallone’s confusion just a little bit too much, considering he is technically a criminal and trained in 1980s butt-kicking, I wouldn’t recommend messing with the guy too much.

So, mildly possible. Although probably too complex of a joke for those future knuckleheads to pull off.

Is Sandra Bullock Sylvester Stallone’s Daughter in Demolition Man?

2) Some sort of bidet effect

This seems to be the consensus online. This would make sense as Stallone, a sensible man of his time would probably be just as confused with an actual bidet – much in the same way Crocodile Dundee was confounded.

However this still leaves many questions. If it is indeed some sort of spray, where does the water come from and how are three identical shells useful? If the future people are so advanced, why don’t they just use bidet technology that has already existed for hundreds of years.

More likely than a joke, but not quite reasonable enough to hold water.

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3) People Don’t Poop in the Future

Finally, what if we told you that the three seashells aren’t the real mystery here? What if they’re really just more of a distraction from the horrifying truth? What if we told you that, in the future, people just simply don’t poop?

Think about it, Demolition Man is a movie that takes its future-self not too seriously. It’s not a dystopian mess that most sci-fi flicks are quick to create. It’s cleverly thought out and features some other odd elements that would make something like this possible.

  1. They don’t have sex. When Stallone tries to cozy up to future-Sandra Bullock, she gets excited and puts on her intercourse helmet before explaining to him that due to the risk of sexually transmitted diseases the exchange of bodily fluids is strictly taboo. They’ve moved past the good ol’ fashioned American way and into a weird new, cleaner and safer space. Why not do the same with pooping?
  2. Taco Bell is fine dining. Perhaps the one element people always seem to remember about Demolition Man (besides that Wesley Snipes is just quite simply one of the most ultimate bad guys of all time), is the odd fact that Taco Bell has won the “franchise wars” and is now considered high dining. It doesn’t state that the food quality is any better, it’s still a fresh-mex concoction that undoubtedly would wreak havoc on the general population as their favorite dish. How would this be possible if the painful act of Taco Bell-induced purging had not been removed? If pooping is indeed bypassed in the future, Taco Bell could easily be seen as the meal of choice.

So, those are our theories here at the Ultimate Action Movie Club. Would love to hear yours. How do you think the three seashells work? Let us know in the comments!

5 Things Guaranteed to Make Any JCVD Movie Ultimate

By
Ultimate Action Movies
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Jean-Claude Van Damme’s Formula for Ultimate Awesomeness.

I finally had a chance to burn through the entire first (and only) season of Jean-Claude Van Johnson on Amazon Prime. While I enjoyed it, I was expecting something different. I was hoping for the ultimate JCVD experience, and what we got was an introspective look at Jean-Claude Van Damme’s humble beginnings, his career and some action. It was fine, but it wasn’t ultimate enough. That got me thinking – what would make the ultimate JCVD movie? I came up with these 5 things guaranteed to make JCVD movies ultimate and awesome!

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1) Twins

One Jean-Claude Van Damme is great, but two JCVDs is even awesomer! Wait, is awesomer a word? Probably not, but who cares! Beginning with Double Impact (1991), JCVD has played twin characters in 4 movies – the others being Maximum Risk (1996), Replicant (2001) and The Order (2001). He also played two characters in Universal Soldier (1992), but they were technically the same person. He did it again in Jean-Claude Van Johnson and there have been rumors that he’ll play a twin again in the next Expendables movie. Want to make it even more ultimate? Triplets! 

Jean-Claude Van Damme Wanted to do a ‘Triple Impact’ Sequel to ‘Double Impact’

2) Plausible (yet budget friendly) science

Timecop (1994) relied on one of the ultimate sci-fi staples – time travel. But, time travel movies can be expensive, especially if you go forward in time. By setting up rules that time travel to the future couldn’t work because it hasn’t happened yet, they were able to keep the budget low while capitalizing on a high-value scientific plotline. Same is true with Universal Soldier (1992), Replicant (2001) and Cyborg (1989). Want to make it more ultimate? Time traveling, reanimated clones!

The 10 Best Jean-Claude Van Damme Action Movies Of All Time

3) Splits

There is no move more polarizing for a man than the splits. Some see them as a strange thing for a man to do, others view it as the ultimate in muscle control. Either way, JCVD is the master of the splits. It would be hard to say how to make JCVD splits more ultimate than this – splits between two moving trucks. Maybe two planes?

The Top 100 Ultimate Action Movies of All Time

4) Dry, cool wit

Say what you will about JVCD’s acting abilities, for me he is the master of the dry, cool wit needed to be an action hero.  For me, the “I guess I should have told him to ‘freeze’” line in Timecop is the ultimate JCVD line, followed closely by “Take your fancy clothes and your black silk underwear and go back to Disneyland” in Double Impact (1991). But, if one were, to say, write the ultimate JCVD line, they could leave it in the comments.

5) A massive fighting competition

Bloodsport (1988) launched JCVD’s career, and it also birthed a common thematic element for many of his movies – the fight competition. Several JCVD films, including Kickboxer (1989), Lionheart (1990) and The Quest (1996), had him fighting his way to the top of some type of competition. From a production standpoint, it makes for a budget-friendly project because you only have to build one set and bring in new competitors. Plot wise, it can get a little boring. You can only look at groups of people chanting KUMITE for so long before it gets old. Want to make it more ultimate? Timecop back to a fight competition, to fight your twin!

Bonus: Dancing!

Here’s the pitch: Jean-Claude Van Damme is William “Splits” Moreau, a former Muay Thai kickboxing champion who joins an elite squad of mercenaries hired to protect the world from time-traveling prize fighters. After being abandoned by his team and left for dead in a 1990s underground martial arts tournament, Moreau is reanimated as a cyborg fighter in present day Thailand. He remembers only two things – how to kill and how to mambo. Bollywood ending!

Article by Eric LaRose – a Wisconsin-based connoisseur of action, horror and sci-fi movies from the ‘80s and ‘90s. A former journalist and podcaster, Eric wrote the ending to the Toxic Avenger Part 4, but the only person who will back up that claim is his wife.

Let us know what you what you think in the comments!

Lionheart (1990): Van Damme’s Forgotten Masterpiece

By
John Acquavita
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Lionheart takes on Bloodsport for JCVD Supremacy

With Jean-Claude Van Damme’s recent revelation that later this year he will begin filming Lionheart 2, a direct sequel to 1990’s stellar Lionheart, I thought it was a good time to revisit this classic JCVD flick.

Many fans rightfully consider 1988’s Bloodsport Van Damme’s masterpiece. I couldn’t agree more. To make a sports analogy, if Bloodsport is Michael Jordan, Lionheart has to be considered Kobe Bryant. It’s a 1A/1B situation. Many action actors would love to have the movie listed on their head shot.

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Solid Martial Arts Action

Lionheart doesn’t try to add too many plot elements into the mix; it’s a hand-to-hand, martial arts action movie first, second and third. There’s no love interest, no slain karate master to avenge, no sidekick to train, and no yelling police chief (although it does co-star Harrison Page, who played one on the criminally underrated 80s TV show Sledge Hammer!).

Lionheart came in the midst of Van Damme’s career apex (1988–1995), when he starred in the following: Bloodsport, Cyborg, Kickboxer, Lionheart, Death Warrant, Double Impact, Universal Soldier, Nowhere to Run, Hard Target, Timecop and Street Fighter. Physically he looked great (age would take a tremendous toll on his face over time), he moved exceptionally well, and the fighting scenes are arguably better than any other put to film that year; Steven Seagal’s Hard to Kill is its only real competition.

FUN FACT: Lionheart also has the distinction of being the first Van Damme film where his character has a French surname (Lyon), which immediately explained his thick Belgian accent and allowed audiences to accept he “could have” been American in many of his movies, albeit with a French lineage. (In case you were wondering, the others were: Deveraux from the Universal Soldier series; Boudreaux from Hard Target; Dubois from The Quest; Moreau from Maximum Risk; Lefevre from Legionnaire; Garrotte from Replicant; LeBlanc from In Hell; Frenchy from Soldiers; Vilain from The Expendables 2; and Frenchy from Full Love.)

But let’s get back to Lionheart, shall we? Oui.

The 10 Best Jean-Claude Van Damme Action Movies Of All Time

You Know The Story

The plot of the movie is simple enough to follow: a French legionnaire deserts his post and heads to America. Here he finds his sister-in-law in dire straits financially, so he resorts to illegal street fights as a way to earn money to support her and her young daughter. Cue the action!

Lionheart boasts a who’s who in terms of recognizing several actors who make you want to shout out “I know that guy”. In addition to the aforementioned Harrison Page, the movie has Michel Qissi (who would find immortality as Tong Po in the original Kickboxer series); Billy Blanks (Tae Bo marketing guru); Jeff Speakman (ahem); and Brian Thompson (the Night Slayer from Sylvester Stallone’s Cobra). I would be remiss if I didn’t include Abdel Qissi among these gentlemen. He is the younger brother of Michel Qissi and looked like a clone of Andre the Giant when he opposed JCVD in Lionheart.

Worth a Revisit

The Top 100 Ultimate Action Movies of All Time

While it never won any awards, Lionheart did earn eight times its $3 million budget. I just wonder why it took more than three decades to make its sequel. Regardless, I can say with certainty that I’m among its target audience. (And if you’re reading this, I suspect you are, too.)

I’m glad that at this stage of his career, JCVD is giving fans what they want: a co-starring role in the Kickboxer reboot; a self-depreciating title role in the short-lived Amazon series Jean-Claude Van Johnson, where he mocked many of his most famous films; and this, the long-awaited sequel to Lionheart.

Let us know what you what you think in the comments!

CONFIRMED: John Travolta and Limp Bizkit’s Fred Durst Filming New Action Thriller

By
Ultimate Action Movies
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Here’s everything we know about ‘MOOSE’

Awesome! Early rumors have been confirmed that John Travolta (best known for Saturday Night Fever as well as Ultimate Action Movie Classics such as Broken Arrow and Face/Off – read more here) is indeed teaming up with former Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst on a new action thriller ambiguously titled – ‘MOOSE’.

Not too much is known about the project, but it is indeed happening and already in production in some undoubtedly mysterious backwood locations in Alabama. Here’s what we can tell you.

Fred Durst is Directing

Mr. Durst, the rap-rocking singer of Limp Bizkit – a well-known 90s/early 2000s MTV commodity with several hits including Rollin’, Break Stuff and Nookie – actually, already has two directorial credits under his belt: The Education of Charlie Banks (2007) and The Longshots (2008).

Moose, which is also written by Durst along with whoever the heck Dave Bekerman is, tells an part-autobiographical story of a obsessed action movie fan who turns from your run-of-the-mill backwoods stalker into, apparently, something much more sinister. And that wayward stalker, ladies and gentlemen, is none other than the great Urban Cowboy himself.

John Travolta as “Moose”

Little is known about just what type of character Travolta is being asked to play. But judging from some behind-the-scenes photos acquired by The Irish Mirror, Travolta looks to be a mullet-headed weirdo who can be seen wearing some sort of civil war era battle fatigues. As a man known for his looks and occasional serious acting accolades, Travolta seems to be on an action movie bender so far in 2018 with two other credits also in the works.

Oddly, both other projects are action-y car and boat racing flicks, Speed Kills and Trading Paint, with the latter having just been completed a few weeks ago in the same area of Alabama.

Devon Sawa – Ultimate Action Hero

For Ultimate Action Movie fans, the real intrigue in this project is the inclusion of a “celebrity action hero” who is apparently the object of Moose’s infatuation. Said action hero is set to be played by Devon Sawa (best remembered as Alex Browning in Final Destination and Casper in Casper) and goes by the UAMC-approved name of ‘Hunter Dunbar’.

So, hopefully if Moose turns out to be a un-thrilling dud (which we’re going to assume it will be), we can at least see some made-up action movie scenes from whatever awesome action movie Hunter Dunbar fictionally stars in.

What are your thoughts on John Travolta and Fred Durst’s new mysterious project? Let us know in the comments!

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