Steven Seagal is best known as the ultimate action movie tough guy. He broke in as a stunt coordinator and aikido expert. He made his mark as a skinny leading man with hits like Above the Law, Hard to Kill and Marked for Death before making his bread with some action classics like Out for Justice, Under Siege and Exit Wounds. Since then he’s put on some pounds and gone off the rails quite a bit as his egregious personality and on screen persona finally cast him away to DTV films and Russian exile.
However, one question about Seagal’s storied ultimate action movie career still remains… Why the hell does he run so weird? (Actually this should be past tense since he probably isn’t doing much running in his new films – if at all.)
While this question has perplexed ultimate action movie scholars for decades, we now have some terrific video proof to review. The YouTube account Danger Meat has uploaded an awesome montage of Seagal in motion that helps us to really examine just what the hell is going on with the man’s odd gait.
It’s also kind of cool / funny to see just how much Seagal has changed over the years. He really was almost twig-like in his first film appearances and arguably really needed to bulk up at first. However, as his size increased his speed certainly slipped significantly.
As a bonus we get the culmination of what is the presumed natural regression of Seagal’s athletic prowess with the infamous hospital escape scene from Seagal’s Hard to Kill where he truthfully looks about as fleet footed as ever rolling down the exit ramps bearded and bewildered.
So, we do need to examine this a bit further. There has to be some reasons or explanations for just why Seagal chooses to run like this on screen. He’s noted for being quite a bit of a stickler for making sure his tough guy brand and persona is upheld in every one of his scenes – so how did these funny runs get through? Here are some theories.
1) He simply has really long limbs.
This might be the simplest explanation. As you can see when the man is at his skinniest, Seagal has really, really, really long arms and legs. This would perhaps explain why – for a time – he really was a great athlete and fighter. Long limbs are advantageous in combat, and actually quite conducive to speed, but also kind of funny to see in full flight.
2) The Seagal Run is actually the optimal running style.
Another theory to consider might be that WE are all the ones who run funny, and it’s Seagal who has simply discovered the optimate – and most ULTIMATE – style of running. His arms sway from tight to his hips to elongated up and forward almost like he’s on an elliptical machine which might just be the best way for true speed. We should note that Seagal always gets his man in these chase scenes, so who are we to question the look when we can see the ultimate results?
3) Seagal is only running for fun.
This is my favorite theory and most probably the true answer. One thing you should know about Steven Seagal the Ultimate Action Movie Star™ is that his particular brand of hero is the type that is never in danger, trouble or out of control. A lot of other heroes build their characters by being beat up and down and out before they triumph in the end.
Not Seagal though, in basically every single one of his movies he’s never in any real danger. He remains calm and suave throughout. If he gets hit it’s only because he let it happen and to prove a point. So…
That means in every one of these chase scenes he KNOWS he’s going to get his mark eventually. He’s only doing it for the damn exercise. He can run however he wants and it wouldn’t matter if he was skipping after the guy. Seagal always wins in his films, so the running is just there for the sheer fun of it.
A look back at how Turbo Kid explores the child-like appeal of bloody action and ultimate hyper-violence.
Parodies on the action genre took off in the 1980s and 1990s with classic movie series like Naked Gun and Hot Shots that were awesome slapstick versions of the time’s hard-boiled action flicks. In more recent years, a new wave of films hit action movie fans, that mixed their spoofing with sincere homages to our beloved genre. Kung Fury, Commando Ninja and Manborg excelled in compressing the essence of old-school action cinema into their runtime, and were loaded to the ceiling with insanity.
There’s a fourth entry to that list that took a slightly different route. Roadkill Superstar (aka RKSS) is a Canadian trio of filmmakers that garnered attention in the 2000s with a series of great short films parodying the action and horror genre. One of them was T is for Turbo, and in 2015 RKSS produced their first full-length feature Turbo Kid based on it.
After the apocalypse, The Kid scavenges the ruins of civilization for food, comic books and action figures on his BMX bike. One day, he finds the uniform and power glove of the mythical soldier Turbo Rider who fought in the war that destroyed civilization. With his new weapon and two mighty friends at his side, The Kid takes it up against the ruler of the wasteland Zeus and his army of sadistic killers.
In the world of Turbo Kid, there’s no more fuel to power cars. Everyone travels around on bicycles instead, and a flat tire can mean instant death by radiation or raiders. This is only one of the simple, but ingenious ideas Turbo Kid brings to the table. Even the most intimidating villains are sitting on BMX bikes when chasing after The Kid, and the front yard of the bad guys’ headquarter looks just like a middle school entrance with a long row of bicycles parked in front of it.
Turbo Kid is not just Mad Max on bicycles, though, but actually looks like it drew plenty of inspiration from genre entries such as Steel Dawn and Stryker. These trashy Mad Max copycats are a very fertile ground for a parody with their cheesy characters and dialogues, ridiculous outfits, and ultra-cheap action scenes. Turbo Kid exploits these treasure troves of B-grade post-apocalyptic cinema to the fullest, and also throws in a load of references to 1980s pop culture for good measure.
The kid goes on scavenging runs and returns with audio tapes and comic books to his cozy bunker where pink flamingos and bubble gum await him. The retro vibe is pushed even further with a killer synth-wave soundtrack, one of the best ever to make it into a movie. Turbo Kid excels at creating a sentimental nostalgic atmosphere, and not only for people who grew up in the 1980s. Even in a post-nuclear world, life is simpler and a lot more fun at times for kids than it is for adults.
The film was shot in an abandoned asbestos mine. This already sounds like a creepy enough place, but it also looks the part with ruined buildings and giant piles of rubble put on display. Add to that a couple of skulls on pikes and decaying bodies lying around, and we get ourselves a perfect post-apocalyptic setting.
Turbo Kid may deliver slightly less action than its peers Kung Fury and Commando Ninja, but it still has its fair share of spectacle. A trademark of RKSS’ short films was their love for gory slapstick sequences, and in Turbo Kid they stayed true to this style without compromise. Actions classics like Aliens or Predator had their share of bloodshed but Turbo Kid stands a lot closer to all-out splatter films like Peter Jackson’s Braindead in its approach to the action scenes.
Everyone who takes issue with over-the-top violence may want to avoid the film, there’s plenty of heads being chopped off and fountains of blood spurting frequently. But if you can tolerate (or even be entertained by) crazy kills such as people getting their intestines unraveled out of their bodies while attached to a spinning bicycle wheel, stay tuned! The big finale is a colorful and upbeat massacre like you’ve never seen before, and reminds us of the ultimate survival rule for close combat: Eyes! Throat! Genitals! We also must mention Zeus’ skull-faced champion Skeletron, a worthy inductee into the action movie villain hall of fame, who really enjoys using his saw-blade bracers to paint the ground red whenever he gets the opportunity.
Despite the desolate setting and occasional outbursts of extreme violence, Turbo Kid is really a heart-warming affair, even if that may sound hard to believe. The spirited and goodhearted characters contribute a lot to this impression, and there’s zero cynicism in the whole film. Even Michael Ironside as uber-villain Zeus comes across as happy and relaxed most of the time when doing his evil business. And Laurence Leboeuf arguably delivers the most charming performance of the movie as Apple, The Kid’s enthusiastic and slightly weird companion, who looks like a fairy in a neon shell suit.
Even if you didn’t grow up in the 1980s, chances are Turbo Kid will make you smile more than once. It may even bring out your inner child mixed with an adults’ taste for bloody action and violence. Turbo Kid is is a skilled and charming homage to our favorite post-apocalyptic films, and a crazy good time!
A look back at how Ironclad (2011) is still one of the most ultimate – and most medieval – action movies ever!
Braveheart is the greatest medieval action flick of all time, but it is also a heavily romanticized take on the Scots fight for independence. If it was not for the epic battle scenes and Mel Gibson’s incredible charisma it could have easily become the medieval version of Dr. Zhivago. Movies like Flesh & Blood or Black Death on the other end of the spectrum are probably a lot closer to what the middle ages were like. Their interpretation of the historical setting resulted in dark and nasty flicks that were not really a good time for the audience.
Ironclad takes the middle ground, and strikes a good balance between a seemingly realistic portrayal of the times and fierce combat sequences. After a civil war with the English barony, King John was forced to make some concessions to them, and signed the famous Magna Carta in 1215. For John it was a bad deal, of course, and he swiftly resumed his fight against the nobility. Part of his plan was to seize Rochester Castle, which was of strategic importance due its proximity to the expected landing point of the French army that was on its way to overthrow John.
That’s the historical background, and the starting point for Ironclad’s story. Rebel baron William d’Aubigny recruits a group of combat veterans, and takes control of the castle ahead of John’s arrival. A long siege begins, and William is determined to hold the castle until the French Army arrives. Templar Knight Thomas joins the baron on his mission, and also has some personal beef with King John and his henchmen.
Twenty men defending a castle against one thousand mercenaries is a great scenario for an action movie, as it promises plenty of heroic moments and also plenty of killing. Ironclad begins like a medieval version of The Magnificent Seven with William assembling his posse of eccentric swashbucklers, each one with a different skill set. After that the story revolves exclusively around the multiple assaults of John’s army to take the castle. In between the fights, we get some glimpses of the harsh reality of medieval life, that is exacerbated by the extreme circumstances of the siege.
So how does Ironclad fare on the action front? The film delivers what may be the most intense melee battle scenes to ever make it into a movie. There’s siege towers and catapult attacks wreaking havoc on the castle, too, but the sword fights are the centerpiece of the action. Ferocious hacking and slashing is the name of the game, with skulls being smashed and bodies impaled at a staggering frequency. Combat is just incredibly brutal in this film, and the relentless assault of John’s army keeps the action coming all the time.
The camera leans towards the shaky style during battle which may be a bit irritating for action purists, but I think in Ironclad it works well to create a proper sense of immersion. The quality of the fights is not diminished by this, and especially Templar Thomas launches devastating attacks with his great-sword. Thomas may not be wielding his weapon as stylish as William Wallace in Braveheart, but if these two would have ever faced each other in battle, I would not have put my money on Wallace.
The acting talent involved in Ironclad pushes it further into awesomeness territory. The great Brian Cox shines as fearless baron that is crazy enough to go against a whole army with just a bunch of loyal warriors. Vladimir Kulich almost reprises his role as Viking king from the 13th Warrior as leader of the Danish mercenary army that fights on John’s side, and is as towering as ever. And James Purefoy kicks some serious ass as reticent but resolute elite Templar knight who seems to be willing to take on John’s army all by himself.
As for King John, Paul Giamatti gives it all in his role. John apparently was a bad king who slept with his baron’s wives and broke his word all the time. Giamatti goes even further, and turns him into a psychopathic tyrant with a frightening gaze. He frequently staggers broodingly through fields and marshes plotting his next cruelty against the defendants. Even though he never joins combat, he is easily the most intimidating character of the whole film.
The film was made with a budget of “only” 25 Million USD. This is amazing, as it accomplishes everything it aims to do without any flaws in production quality. The sets look great, the action scenes are killer, and the cast is A-list. Ironclad tells its story without fuss and is one of the most adrenaline-charged lessons on English history that you’ll ever see. It’s a perfect package, and one of the top entries to the medieval action genre.
From Harrison Ford to Alec Baldwin to Ben Affleck and Chris Pine… who is the most ultimate Jack Ryan?
As we await the April 30th release of Amazon Prime’s action bonanza Without Remorse, let’s review and rank the five movies that lead up to it and how Jack Ryan set the stage for John Clark. We have read about and seen these two characters get into wild country-hopping adventures, while casually avoiding nuclear annihilation and targeted killing, for nearly 40 years.
What started with a series of best-selling books exploded into a cinematic franchise worth over $700 million at the box office. Prime’s Jack Ryan TV series continues that momentum today as they get ready to take on their third season. Whether on the big screen or the small screen, Tom Clancy’s adaptations consistently offer audiences a crowd-pleasing blend of realistic action and timely, political-thriller narratives.
Before we tac up for Without Remorse, let’s look back at 24 years of Jack Ryan films then look ahead to where the movie series goes from here.
Alec Baldwin’s solo performance as Jack Ryan kicked off the franchise in the waning days of the Cold War. A seasoned Soviet Sub Captain (Sean Connery) goes rogue and it’s up to lone CIA analyst Jack Ryan to uncover his motivations before rival fleets go bow-to-bow in the Atlantic. The film even generated a meme. Remember the one? Fred Thompson storms off the deck yelling, “This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.”
The quintessential Cold War flick features strong performances from an outsized cast that even manages to squeeze in Tim Curry and Gates McFadden (Dr. Crusher from Star Trek). Although not as action-packed as later entries, this is a straight cat-and-mouse thriller with flashes of naval warfare and an occasional shootout aboard a nuclear submarine. With John McTiernan (Die Hard, Predator) in the director’s chair, it’s no wonder that Red October is an exhilarating blockbuster from stem to stern.
Harrison Ford steps in as Jack Ryan, who’s now semi-retired from the intelligence game. With the Soviet Union imploding, it was time to focus on other national security threats. The Irish Republican Army, headed by a mild mannered Paddy O’Neil (Richard Harris) but filled to the brim with violent paramilitary sociopaths like Sean Miller (Sean Bean), crosses paths with Jack Ryan in the UK with fantastically explosive results. Ryan ruined their murderous mission, so now it’s time for revenge and, as you may have guessed, this time it’s personal.
Patriot Games steps up the action significantly with terrorist attacks, targeted killings, car chases, a boat chase, and hostage-taking. Again, the incredible cast and thriller aspects of the story set this action extravaganza apart from similar blockbusters of the time. Although featuring many of the same tropes as a 90s Bond movie or The Rock, Patriot Games motivated a generation of filmmakers to develop a more realistic depiction of terrorism and black bag operations. This trend would continue with movies like the Mission: Impossible series, The Jackal, Spy Game, and Enemy of the State.
Back to being a “company man,” Harrison Ford re-ups as Jack Ryan, the seasoned intelligence professional with a desk job. Of course, we all know that desk is only a temporary fixture in Jack’s life. Now, the war on drugs is in full swing as US military assets are secretly deployed south of the border to stick it to the cartels. The third Ryan film seamlessly blends politics, action, and intrigue into a compelling narrative of shifting alliances and enemies.
We first meet John Clark in this installment with Willem Dafoe providing a distinctive introduction to the character. He’s an on-again, off-again spook tapped to provide command and control for a mission that’s way off the books. Clark begrudgingly teams up with Ryan to clean up a massive Charlie Foxtrot in the jungle. Clark is portrayed as a no-nonsense, seasoned veteran of special ops warfare. Clark and his team deliver the action. Ryan handles the logistics and juggles the skullduggery, which is more consistent with his character compared with the more modern reboots.
After an eight-year break, the studio dusted off the Jack Ryan property and rebooted the origin story with Ben Affleck in the analyst’s chair. Heavily modified from the source material, Sum of All Fears features secret Nazis who devise a Spectre-esque scheme that pushes Russia and the US towards nuclear Armageddon. An attack on an aircraft carrier and nuking Baltimore push the stakes about as high as they can go. It’s up to Jack Ryan to both dial back tensions and expose the fourth reich’s plot before this business really gets out of control and no one will live through it.
Liev Schreiber steps into John Clark’s combat boots to help Ryan track down missing Russian scientists. A bit more agreeable than Dafoe’s version, Schreiber’s Clark is still a cool customer that gets the job done. Affleck’s Ryan is always center stage and he, not Clark, is the primary driver of the action.
The Sum of All Fears is a mixed bag. The thriller narrative holds up but the secret Nazi stuff feels cartoonish. For the sake of political correctness or the filmmakers’ personal tastes, the Arab Nationalists from the book were replaced with neo-fascists. Not being a fan of either murderous terrorists or closeted Nazi clowns, I can watch either party get Corleone’d in the end, but Clancy’s plot makes a lot more sense. Also, for some reason, moviegoers had a problem with seeing an American city getting obliterated a year after 9/11. As a standalone movie, Sum of All Fears is a serviceable political thriller but in the Jack Ryan franchise, it comes up short.
The lonely, unwanted stepchild of Jack Ryan movies that apparently I had watched at the time and completely forgot about. Re-watching and discovering that I had indeed seen this movie before was the most exciting thing to happen during my viewing.
Why we need a third Jack Ryan origin story is anyone’s guess but at least this version is more true to Clancy’s character. After 9/11, Chris Pine’s Ryan joins up and prepares for his first tour in Afghanistan only to have his helicopter shot down on the way. He suffers a debilitating spinal injury and he’s coaxed back to mobility by an increasingly annoying Cathy Muller, played by Keira Knightley trying out an American accent. The CIA, exclusively played by Kevin Costner, recruits Ryan as he lands a lucrative and well-placed position in a stock brokerage firm.
Those sneaky Russkies are at it again but instead of nuclear war, the financial sector is weaponized and a corrupt oligarch threatens to crush the US economy. The unlikely trio must find a way to thwart the stock market shenanigans and prevent a terrorist attack designed to trigger the financial collapse.
It’s a mess. The narrative lacks cohesion and the characters aren’t as fleshed out and/or they make terrible decisions, like Cathy volunteering to assist with a clandestine operation to steal the oligarch’s nefarious data. This second attempt at a reboot came and went, leaving very little motivation to continue the series, at least with this hapless cast of characters.
Jack Ryan may be taking a breather and stretching out his back for a while as John Clark gets ready to tear up home theater screens this April. There are still plenty of stories to tell in the “Ryan-verse” and they require strong characters to navigate the murky world of national security politics.
Michael B. Jordan’s casting as John Clark along with an intense preview seem to be heading in the right direction. Expect Without Remorse to be more action-forward as John Clark’s background is vastly different than Jack Ryan’s. While Jack was hanging around with co-eds and discussing Keynesian economics, John the Navy SEAL was in the jungle, hunting down Viet Cong. John Clark’s story is one of tragedy and betrayal, which turns him into a hardened spook ready to do the dirty work that has to get done on behalf of shadowy interests.
Jordan also signed up for a follow-up to Without Remorse, Rainbow Six. John Clark and his team of Special Ops superstars take on a band on environmental whackos enforcing their own violent brand of carbon neutrality. So, for now, the stars in the Ryan-verse are aligning to produce some exceptional action-driven content over the next few years. Stay tuned as we review Without Remorse to find out how it ranks in the franchise and if the action lives up to that eye-popping trailer.
One thing Chuck Norris does better than any man is know how to cleverly quip with a lady…
There’s an entire generation of film watchers who know Chuck Norris as “the man who can dribble a bowling ball,” or the guy who “counted to infinity… twice.” While the endless Chuck Norris jokes on college dorm room walls are amusing, the action star’s work is worth more than the countless one liners surrounding his persona. Besides his ability to kick and punch with the best of them, his films are also full of great one-liners and witty comebacks.
One of his most underappreciated films is 1980’s The Octagon. A compelling drama about two young men who were trained to be ninjas before choosing different paths in life, the movie is full of action-packed fights and clever sayings. Playing the retired karate champion, Scott James, Norris turns in a classic against-all-odds performance. Without further ado, here are Chuck Norris’ best quips from The Octagon.
9) “You’re right about the smile. I’ll let you know about the rest later.”
AJ: That’s the kind of girl I’d like to settle down with. Pretty but not too pretty. Good body, nice smile. Good in bed. You can tell by the way she moves.
SCOTT JAMES: You’re right about the smile. I’ll let you know about the rest later.
This scene takes place after Scott James and his longtime friend, AJ, attend the dance recital of a young lady AJ is dating. Backstage the two of them spot a striking young lady who catches Scott’s eye. Ever the ladies’ man, Scott’s confidence is loud and clear with this statement.
8) “You’re not obligated to sit here and pretend nothing’s wrong either.”
SCOTT JAMES: You’re not obligated to tell me what’s bothering you. But you’re not obligated to sit here and pretend nothing’s wrong either.
You guessed it, Scott walked over to the girl at the recital and asked her out. Of course, she said yes. A man of Scott’s experience can always tell when something is bothering someone. His intuition puts the young lady at ease and serves as an icebreaker. Conversation between the two of them flows freely for the rest of the evening.
7) “You’ve always been good at convenient attitudes. I’m not.”
SCOTT JAMES: You’ve always been good at convenient attitudes. I’m not.
Unfortunately for Scott, there were ninjas waiting for he and his date when they walked into her apartment after dinner. Scott fought them off valiantly. He survived; unfortunately, his date did not. The next day, he runs into an old friend who tells him potential terrorists are being trained by ninjas. Scott feels a need to verify the facts before jumping to conclusion while his friend is ready to act without thinking. Scott’s one-liner reflects his calculated way of approaching a problem.
6) “Just trying to fall all over myself to please a beautiful woman.”
JUSTINE WENTWORTH: Aren’t you giving in too easily?
SCOTT JAMES: Just trying to fall all over myself to please a beautiful woman.
JUSTINE WENTWORTH: That’s rubbish.
SCOTT JAMES: Glad you recognized it.
SCOTT JAMES: How ‘bout having dinner with me tonight?
JUSTINE WENTWORTH: Does this mean that I’ve suddenly become the object for pity?
SCOTT JAMES: Concern.
Try as he may, Scott James just can’t stay out of trouble. After helping a damsel in distress with an unexpected car problem, he ends up needing a ride back to his own vehicle. Turns out, she’s not just any damsel, she the rich heiress, Justine Wentworth. What seems like a chance meeting turns into much more when the two of them are nearly chased off the road by renegades on the way to Scott’s car. After some clever maneuvering behind the wheel, Scott is able to guide them to safety. When Justine confesses that the men who killed her father are now after her, Scott asks her out in an effort to comfort her. His charm is irresistible.
JUSTINE WENTWORTH: Well, I had hoped to entice you into taking a personal interest into things.
SCOTT JAMES: That’s an insult to both of us. It makes me stupid and you a whore.
Before his evening with the lovely Ms. Wentworth can even begin, Scott puts together the pieces of the puzzle. The damsel in distress act was just that, an act. Ms. Wentworth planned her chance encounter with the infamous karate champion because she wanted him to help her fend off the men who killed her father and are now after her fortune. Her insinuation that she planned to make the endeavor worth his while offends Scott James’s sensibilities. He lays this one-liner on her before walking out the door of her mansion in disgust.
JUSTINE WENTWORTH: I feel encouraged. I feel I’m looking in the right direction.
SCOTT JAMES: I don’t.
JUSTINE WENTWORTH: Ouch.
SCOTT JAMES: I doubt it.
Justine Wentworth is a woman who doesn’t take no for an answer. After being turned down at her mansion, she manages to find Scott at a local restaurant. She indicates that not only are her feelings for him are growing, but he’s also the man who can help her achieve a higher sense of purpose. Scott calls her bluff and shoots her down again.
3) “I love the way you just naturally downplay things.”
SCOTT JAMES: I love the way you just naturally downplay things.
During a meeting of the minds to discuss if Scott’s long-lost brother is training terrorists or mercenaries, his friend determines there’s not much difference between the two and it doesn’t matter. Scott clearly does not agree.
2) “You wanted a man for this mission, and now you’ve got one!”
SCOTT JAMES: The why’s and wherefor’s don’t matter. You wanted a man for this mission, and now you’ve got one!
Scott utters these words during yet another heated exchange with Justine Wentworth. She has managed to seduce Scott’s friend AJ, only to then suggest that he’s not the half the man Scott is. Determined to prove her wrong, AJ sets out on a mission to find Seikura and put a stop to his underground training camp for ninjas. When Ms. Wentworth tells Scott that AJ has gone missing, Scott responds in disgust. The decision has been made for him; he must now locate and fight his long-lost brother.
As luck would have it, Scott has become friends with a defector from Seikura’s camp. He allows her to sleep on his couch. When word gets to him that Seikura’s training ground has been located, Scott knows time is of the essence. He tells his new companion they must go confront Seikura right away. When she protests that she needs to grab personal items before heading on the mission, Scott insinuates her beauty routine will have to be put on pause until the mission is complete.
The Octagon is a must see for any action movie fan. If you haven’t seen it, take a trip to Blockbuster and rent a copy on VHS for a dollar. On your way home, stop at the arcade and play a game of Pac-Man to get yourself psyched up. Before you pop in the tape, play “Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen on your record player.
No, the song isn’t connected with the movie, but the rhythm will put you in the right from of mind to watch Chuck Norris beat up a gang of ninjas. Now walk through those curtain beads hanging from the doorway and grab a seat on the sofa. Pop in the tape and get ready for a wild ride, 1980 style.
Godzilla vs. Kong eat your heart out! Here are our rankings of the best and most ultimate monster movies, creature features and giant monster films…
With us seeing a new resurgence in giant monster movies (like Godzilla vs Kong for example), now is a good moment to look back at the best films from this hybrid disaster-action genre that have been terrorizing audiences in recent years. A giant monster lives to destroy, and we expect non-stop action, thrills and mayhem from any halfway decent monster flick. Films like Stephen Spielberg’s Jurassic Park and Roland Emmerich’s Godzilla kicked off a revival of the genre in Hollywood in the 1990s.
Those productions were the first to use high-quality CGI effects to create some truly badass beasts. And while the early works such as the Ray Harryhausen stop-motion classics and the original Japanese Godzilla movies with guys in rubber suits are still charming, they didn’t knock anyone off their feet anymore once people got accustomed to the new digital behemoths. So let’s get ready for the ultimate carnage and chaos, here come the ten best modern giant monster movies!
Paul W.S. Anderson returned with another take on his favorite genre of video game adaptations. US Army captain Natalie and her squad get caught in a sand storm that transports them to another world inhabited by giant murderous monsters. While running for her life Natalie meets The Hunter, who agrees to help her find a way back to her home world. The plot is thin as toilet paper as usual in Anderson’s movies, but Monster Hunter stays completely true to its title. There are monsters of all sizes, they are everywhere, and they are always out for blood. And the humans fight back with the biggest badass swords to ever make it into a movie.
Milla Jovovich and Tony Jaa both are in physical top form slashing their way through hordes of creepy beasts. And while there is an impressive variety of monsters, they all lack truly distinctive features. Their looks actually reminded me a bit of the randomly created content that is frequently found in video games. On top of that the movie never goes completely overboard as one may have hoped, with the fight sequences not being particularly impressive or original. Monster Hunter ticks all the boxes for a fun monster flick, but is not destined to leave a lasting impression with action movie fans.
With Pacific Rim, Guillermo Del Toro plundered the repository of Japanese giant robot and monster films and molded them into his own take on the classics. Giant monsters (the Kaiju) enter the world through a large hole at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. Humanity responds by building giant robots (the Jaegers) to fight them. After many years of battle, the remaining worn-out Jaegers are gathered for one last stand with the Kaiju to close the breach once and for all. Pacific Rim is as colorful as a monster movie can get, I think we haven’t seen as many neon lights since Blade Runner. The ferocious battles between the Jaegers and the Kaiju look great, and especially the fights on the open sea get an additional dramatic touch with giant waves and raging thunderstorms.
The problem is that for a movie with more than two hours runtime, the action sequences are not as frequent as one may have hoped. The movie wastes a lot of time with boring dialogues between uninteresting characters, and is also way too serious for its own good. The slick visuals and awesome action scenes make Pacific Rim ultimately worth watching, but the tedious sequences of personal drama make it a somewhat inconsistent affair.
Roland Emmerich’s take on the famous Japanese monster was the first US adaptation, and pays almost zero respect to its source material. It just wants to be silly and loud fun from the first to last minute instead. A lizard living on a nuclear test site in the Pacific Ocean mutates into a giant monster, and makes its way to New York City. Radiation scientist Nick Tatopoulos is tasked with figuring out how to stop the creature before it knocks down all skyscrapers in Manhattan. Godzilla puts a ton of mayhem on the screen, and few people are more qualified for this than Roland Emmerich. While Godzilla is an all-CGI monster, Emmerich uses plenty of old-school effects to create a film that still breathes the spirit of 1990s action blockbusters.
Cheesy humor is abundant, including running gags about seemingly unpronounceable Greek names, and the military missing every time whenever they fire a missile at Godzilla. The plot takes many weird turns, and occasionally is totally out there. Godzilla is able to disappear from everyone’s sight while walking around in Manhattan, but can be easily be lured out with a giant pile of fish. Despite some flaws, Godzilla is a lot more fun than the latest two US versions of the Godzilla franchise, 2014’s Godzilla and Godzilla: King of the Monsters.
Giant spiders started coming after humans in movies as early as the 1950s, but in recent years usually only made appearances in the contemporary avalanche of Z-grade monster flicks. Big-Ass Spider is a positive exception, and a worthy ambassador for the giant spider community on this list. A spider escapes from a secret government lab where it was accidentally exposed to a dose of alien growth hormones. Thanks to a human-only diet, it does not double, but quadruple in size every 24 hours. Only the brave exterminator Alex has the guts and wits to go after the monster that threatens to destroy all of downtown Los Angeles.
Big-Ass Spider sweeps up as many monster movie cliches as possible, and assembles them into an awesome action-comedy. It never takes itself serious for even a single minute, and has its good share of offensive humor. It also delivers fully on the action front. The spider chases cars, eats people’s faces and evades bigger and bigger weapons being fired at it as it grows. The finale is a nice King Kong/Alien crossover with the heroes going after the spider nest on top of a skyscraper. Big-Ass Spider is a great low-budget monster flick, and also one of the best comedic takes on the genre.
The late 1990s had a couple of highlights in the creature feature genre with films like Lake Placid, Mimic and The Relic at the forefront. The biggest and baddest monster was to be found in Deep Rising, though. Giant sea monsters have been shamefully neglected in the last decades in movies, and Deep Rising sets this mistake right big time. A crew of pirates is on its way to rob a luxury cruise ship. When they arrive, they find the vessel half-destroyed and deserted. Before they realize what has happened, they’re trapped and need to face an ancient abomination from the deep sea.
The movie follows the familiar Aliens/Predator formula: a team of heavily armed combat veterans is on a mission that gets disrupted by a monster with a hunger for humans.The movie builds up momentum steadily, and culminates in an inferno of destruction as the 60-feet slime ball with deadly tentacles is tearing the ship and its intruders apart. Deep Rising is already worth a watch for its churlish characters and crude humor, something that is sorely missed in most action movies these days. The pirates are all likable anti-heroes, and especially Treat Williams shines as a charming wise-ass charter boat captain. Deep Rising delivers thrills, jokes and action by the minute, and has everything needed to be a good time for action movie fans.
Kong: Skull Island takes the middle part of Peter Jackson’s King Kong, and blows it up into two hours of non-stop action in tropical jungles and mountains. A squad of soldiers escorts a team of scientists on a geological survey to an unmapped island. Upon landing, they find themselves surrounded by murderous giant creatures, among them the mighty Kong, and their new mission is to make it off the island alive. Set at the end of the Vietnam war, the historical backdrop is integrated well into the story with a group of war-weary soldiers returning to the jungle for one last stand.
Just as in previous King Kong movies, Kong is angry and violent, but ultimately a likable beast. While the humans are desperately trying to not get eaten by the multitude of giant critters, Kong easily smashes helicopters in melee combat, dismembers sea monsters, and rips out the jaws of giant lizards. Kong: Skull Island is a classic jungle adventure that also does not take itself overly serious. It’s the best movie from the new canonical Legendary Monsterverse by a wide margin compared to the two dreary Godzilla movies.
Dragons have been around in classic stories for hundreds of years, but Reign of Fire puts a clever spin on them. In our present time, dragons with a hunger for human flesh are awakened by accident, and bring the apocalypse to earth. Quinn leads a group of survivors dwelling in an English castle. A squad of American soldiers lands at the British shores, and Quinn joins them in their quest to find and kill the dragon queen. Reign of Fire’s idea of putting dragons into a post-apocalyptic world sounds like the perfect setup for a cheesy B-movie, but it turns out to be a killer action flick!
The film has a unique look with the world being a hellish place that is covered in ash and smoke. And the action just keeps coming in this film, as the modern dragon hunters defend themselves against the ferocious beasts with tanks and helicopters. Christian Bale and Matthew McConaughey as unlikely allies carry the movie with their charisma. Especially McConaughey is in full dragonslayer mode as topless berserker with a giant battle axe. Reign of Fire is a one of its kind, and shows that there still can be surprises in a genre that was not really big on innovation in recent years.
Jurassic Park 3 is the only movie from the franchise on this list. While no one debates the awesomeness of Steven Spielberg’s first two entries of the saga, they are not action movies at their core. The two recent Jurassic World films were thoroughly mediocre, on the other hand. Jurassic Park 3 is thus really the sweet spot of the series for action movie fans. Paleontologist Alan Grant gets persuaded to act as guide for a millionaire couple who want to fly over Isla Sorna, which is inhabited by dinosaurs. His warning to not set foot on the island goes unheard, and things go south extremely fast for everyone who joined the trip.
Jurassic Park 3 differentiates itself from the other entries to the franchise by having bigger and meaner dinosaurs. The film drops all unnecessary baggage such as a plot and interesting dialogues, and just becomes one of the best 100 Million Dollar B-movies you’ll ever see. And it is loaded to the ceiling with awesome monster action. Dinosaurs are tearing apart airplanes and each other, and the poor humans discover a new species with a hunger for them every ten minutes on their odyssey across the island. Jurassic Park 3 will always be overshadowed by the first two installments, but it is still a highly entertaining, light-hearted chase through a tropical island full of hungry predators.
Peter Jackson’s remake of the classic American monster movie is cinematic perfection on every level. A tale about the troubles and ambitions of a young movie maker is masterfully interwoven with jaw-dropping sequences of monster mayhem. Director Carl Denham organizes an expedition to an undiscovered tropical island to shoot his next movie. He charters a ship and sets sail for Skull Island with his crew. Upon arrival they are thrown into a deadly adventure, with a giant gorilla at the center of the action.
King Kong takes its time to get started, but the exploration of the tropical island escalates into a frantic chase through the jungle with an endless stream of giant terrifying animals coming after the helpless humans. Jackson created some sequences that belong into the all-time hall of fame of monster movies. One of them shows Kong engaged in a grotesque air ballet as he tumbles along lianas and fights three dinosaurs. Another sequence looks like it takes place at the gates of hell, when our protagonists end up in a filthy pit and get attacked by swarms of giant insects and worms. King Kong is a spectacular adventure with tons of action, and a masterpiece of modern blockbuster cinema for the ages.
Our number one movie is a real old-school gem, and no blockbuster monster flick could ever rival the campy genius that Tremors is. Val and Earl are two handymen living and working in the desert village of Perfection. One day they’re suddenly attacked by a giant worm digging itself out of the sand, and soon after Perfection is under siege by a whole pack of subterranean critters. Tremors may not deliver destruction and mayhem on a scale as massive as other movies on this list, but it still kicks some serious ass and has plenty of other qualities besides goofy monster action.
Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward have an excellent chemistry as two roughnecks with a loose mouth and their heart at the right place, and every other character in Tremors is equally quirky and likable. The film also oozes the vibe of classic action flicks with its overconfident characters, great one-liners, and the perfect balance between comedy and spectacle. Running, jumping and climbing are the acrobatic virtues displayed in excess by our main protagonists as they try to stay off the ground by any means possible. The worms are bad-ass, but also kind of cute, and the critter attacks are staged nicely, with all sorts of stuff getting violently sucked into the ground. Tremors is as charming and funny as a movie can get, and is a timeless classic of the monster movie genre.
The popular Japanese manga and anime series lends itself to Gary Daniels 90s ultimate action breakout!
This was the big one for Gary Daniels, his opportunity to show that he can carry a movie with a medium-sized budget on his own. Daniels started kicking ass in action movies in the early 1990s, and appeared in numerous low-budget productions with his martial arts skills easily being the best thing about them. Fist of the North Star was his first lead role in a larger production. The film was also guaranteed to get some attention as it was an adaptation of an extremely popular Japanese manga and anime series.
It’s always difficult to put the rich lore of a monumental saga into a single movie. I can imagine that as a faithful adaptation of its template, the film was considered a complete failure for many fans of the original. But we’ll put this issue aside for this article, and judge Fist of the North Star only by its merits as an action movie.
Daniels plays Kenshiro, member of the North Star, a clan of martial arts warriors with supernatural powers. North Star competes with the Southern Cross faction over what’s left of civilization after World War 3. Southern Cross leader Shin kills Kenshiro’s father, and establishes a tyrannical rule over the world. Kenshiro survives the attack, and becomes a one-man army that thrashes everyone who stands between him and his quest for revenge.
Fist of the North Star was directed by Tony Randel, who is mostly known for shooting the sequel to Hellraiser. His first venture into the action genre resulted in a very entertaining film that looks a lot better than it should considering its budget. Randel creates a pretty awesome visual mix, and combines the classic post-apocalyptic imagery of crumbling cities and desolate desert landscapes with Soviet-style art and a touch of Metropolis. The movie also benefits enormously from Randel’s skills as a professional editor. The quality of the action is excellent with long shots and smooth transitions, and is leagues better than the messy fight scenes we see all too often in low-budget action flicks.
Daniels presents himself in top form, and delivers all sorts of crazy kicks and punches to hisopponents. They usually die a brutal death, as his martial arts powers are capable of rearranging body parts in very uncanny and unhealthy ways. If we look at the work Daniels is doing in Fist of the North Star, and also other films like Bloodmoon and Hawk’s Vengeance from that era, there’s no doubt that he was one of the most talented martial artists ever to enter the movie arena. I find it really unfortunate that he never became as successful as some of his peers.
In Fist of the North Star he looks pretty bad-ass with a cool mullet, a worn black leather jacket and a grim look on his face all the time. His acting – like that of many action heroes in the 1980s and 1990s – could be better, of course. But no one can be a World Kickboxing champion and win an Oscar for best actor in their life, so no issue here. Alas, Fist of the North Star did not advance Daniels’ career, and he would continue to display his martial arts prowess in productions that were firmly rooted in the B-tier of action movies.
Kenshiro’s exploits are nicely complemented by the activities of the bad guys. The Southern cross gang does not really seem to be interested in preserving whatever is left of civilization, but just engages in one killing spree after the other. They all look and behave beautifully deranged, and especially Chris Penn as Shin’s left hand indulges in some terrific overacting. He looks as if he was put through a meat grinder before shooting his scenes, and wears a leather helmet that literally prevents his head from exploding.
The film is really entertaining, but it does have a couple of issues. It’s a bit too serious on occasion, and gets a serious cheese factor in some scenes. Examples are Kenshiro giving a weird Jesus impression when he heals a blind girl with his touch, or when he has a chat with his dead father that briefly rises from the grave as a zombie. Another problem is that the story is totally incoherent and some plot elements are just going nowhere. This may have to do with the makers trying to cram as much references to the manga as possible into the movie, but a bit more focus would have helped a lot, I think.
Fist of the North Star is a kick-ass, if slightly messy action flick with a great physical performance by Daniels. It’s not unlike Albert Pyun’s classic Cyborg in some ways, and certainly is one of the better post-apocalyptic B-action movies that came out since Mad Max.
Lists of where to watch all the “Cannon Plus” classics currently streaming online.
Sadly, perhaps, we now live in a world where everyone and their mother has their own streaming platform. From Netflix to Disney+ to smaller and more niche channels like Tubi and Shudder, there seems to be an app for whatever your movie and genre desires may be.
And while the preferred way to watch a Cannon Films movie will always be on VHS with a group of friends and lots of pizza and beer, there may eventually be a home for all those Cannon classics from the golden age of Ultimate Action in the 80s and 90s.
A recent tweet from @robhatchmiller made the rounds on Twitter the other week with the alluring fake news of “Cannon Plus” logo which – while obviously photoshopped – gave Cannon Films fans a glimmer of hope for watching some of their favorite genre classics on their smart TVs and streaming devices without the obvious joy of cramming a battered VHS cartridge into their old VCRs.
And while the tweet might have been a fleeting meme to many, the good folks at @CannonFilmGuide were gracious enough to follow up on the alluring news with some research and lists of their own. So, citing our friends at the Cannon Film Guide (which you can check out here – The Cannon Film Guide, Volume 1 – as well as read our review of below), we present all the places where you can currently stream Cannon Films movies on the internet!
— The Cannon Film Guide (@CannonFilmGuide) March 11, 2021
While we’ve compiled some of our own research on our own here at UAMC on where to stream Ultimate Action classics across the myriad of apps and platforms online, these lists from the Cannon Film Guide are specifically for Cannon Films flicks and range from action to horror to teensplotation. You can check out all our hand-picked ACTION STREAMING RECOMMENDATIONS here.
Here are some of the best picks from Amazon Prime, which you can stream with a Prime subscription (subject to change though depending on what region you live in).
One of our favorite streaming platforms for finding Ultimate Action and Cannon Films movies from the 80s and 90s, Tubi TV is another free streaming app which you absolutely should check out for tons of under the radar classics.
While you can often find a lot of smaller name movies that have been uploaded on YouTube to stream for free, many of these are unauthorized and might not stay up for long (also, if you love Cannon Films or Ultimate Action in general – please buy your favorite movies! Preferably on VHS!).
But luckily, YouTube also legitimately offers their own YouTube movies which are free to watch but with ads which aren’t too often or too bad. Here are the Cannon Films movies currently on YouTube.
Finally, while HBO Max might not have many offerings, they do – oddly – have a couple of titles to check out as well. Who knows though, if Cannon fans watch enough of these over and over again they might expand their selection soon!
An ultimate tale of a chance meeting with the legendary Ranger McQuade…
The year was 1983. I had just finished my senior year at New Mexico State University. I was a 6’4” point guard with a scorer’s mentality. This was in stark contrast to the playing style of the 80’s; NBA coaches favored pass-first guards like Magic Johnson or John Stockton. The pro scouts told me there wasn’t a single team in the entire league interested in me. With my life-long dream of playing professional basketball coming to an end, I decided to move to El Paso, TX where a former high school classmate of mine was now living. He told me they were in need of new talent for the next class of Texas Rangers. Being a physically fit college graduate, my services would be highly desired.
After moving into my apartment in El Paso, I met up with my old high school buddy at a local bar to have a drink. Everyone seemed to be having a nice time, but then a hush came over the crowd. “What’s going on,” I asked my friend. “He just pulled up outside,” he whispered. “Who just pulled up,” I asked. “McQuade,” he replied, “the legendary Texas Ranger, J.J. McQuade.”
I looked out the window. Parked outside the bar was a 1983 Dodge Ramcharger. The door opened slowly. A man with sandy blond hair and a beard stepped out of the truck. There was a look in his eyes that led me to believe he’d had a bare hands brawl with a wolf and lived to tell the story. He walked with the stride of a man who declines to read books, instead preferring to stare them down until they give him the information he desires. I watched as he walked into the bar, several men tipping their hat in his direction out of respect, several ladies smiling at him. I gulped as he walked directly over to the table where my friend and I were seated. “Is this seat taken,” he asked…
As it turns out, J.J. McQuade knew how to hold a pleasant conversation. Once I told him I desired to become a Texas Ranger, he let his guard down and told me I could ask him anything under the sun. My high school buddy Bobby and I agreed, we wanted to hear about the toughest dilemma he’d ever faced on the job and the lessons he took away from the experience. 1983 was a long time ago but to the best of my recollection, here’s what he shared…
J.J. McQuade: I once fell in love with a beautiful Latina after she saved my daughter from a near horseback accident.
Me: Ranger McQuade, forgive me for being presumptuous but that sounds like a good thing, not a dilemma.
McQuade: No son, it’s okay. You’re not brazen or overconfident, just inexperienced. In this part of Texas, greed rules and lawlessness abounds. The beautiful woman I fell in love with was later kidnapped and held for ransom, along with my daughter.
Me: I’m sorry sir, that’s awful. I hope you don’t mind my asking; how did you get them back?
McQuade: I took a trip across the border and hunted down the kidnappers. I was able to bring my daughter to safety but…
Me: I understand if you don’t want to finish the story Ranger McQuade.
McQuade: No son, you need to hear this. You want to be a ranger and I don’t want to sugar coat the experience for you. The beautiful Latina jumped in front of a bullet that was intended for me. As she lay dying in my arms, she managed to look me in my eyes and muster ‘I love you’ with her last breath.
Me: I don’t know that I’ve ever heard anything so terrible in my life, sir! How did you find the strength to carry on?
McQuade: Young man, these were the same men that shot my daughter’s boyfriend on the side of the road and left him for dead. He was enlisted in the army, a fine young man. If she could carry on after such a horrific incident, I owed it to her to be strong in the face of adversity. Those same men also killed my pet wolf and left him on my doorstep for me to find. They had to be brought to justice!
Me: Ranger McQuade, all of this is more than I anticipated. My curiosity won’t rest until I know the motive behind all of this. Why did these men target you and your family this way?
McQuade: It’s because I found out they were smuggling weapons from the United States and selling them to other countries for a profit. As a man of the law, nothing of the sort can happen on my watch without me putting a stop to it. After I interfered with a major transaction, I was a marked man. I would stop at nothing to put an end to their scheme and they knew that.
Me: You said you would stop at nothing, sir. How did it all end?
McQuade: I threw a grenade at the ringleader, killing him and his top crony in the process. With them out of the way, the rest of the organization didn’t stand a chance.
Me: Ranger McQuade, I admire your bravery. You should be honored for your work sir; you did a great service to the community.
McQuade: After the operation crumbled, I was presented with the Texas Award of Valor but that’s not what keeps me going, son. I don’t do what I do for the recognition, I do it for the people. I do it to protect innocent civilians who can’t protect themselves. I do it for the State of Texas. I do it for the United States of America…
With that, he took one last sip of his beer and walked out of the bar. Bobby and I watched through the window as he climbed into his Dodge Ramcharger and drove off down the road. I never saw Ranger McQuade again after that, but I’ll never forget the experience. I don’t think a man like him will ever die. The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
Chan teams up with post-Bond-era Pierce Brosnan for the most kick ass spy thriller maybe ever?
Jackie Chan became famous for his crazy martial arts comedies, and we all love him for them. In the last two decades he starred in several movies with more serious undertones that also dialed the action back just a bit. From all those films, The Foreigner is arguably the best of them. The movie was directed by Martin Campbell, whose talent helped the latest two James Bonds Pierce Brosnan (who also stars in The Foreigner) and Daniel Craig start their journey as the world’s most famous secret agents in GoldenEye and Casino Royale.
The Foreigner is based on the novel The Chinaman by Stephen Leather. The daughter of London restaurant owner Quan is killed in a bombing for which a group of Northern Irish terrorists claims responsibility. The devastated Quan sets out to find her killers and bring them to justice. His skills as a former Vietnamese special ops soldier come in handy on his search for vengeance. Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland Liam Hennessy starts his own investigation into the origins of the terrorist attack, and his pursuit becomes entangled with Quan’s mission in a most violent fashion.
The novel was written in 1992, at a time when the Irish Republican Army was still very active in its violent fight to unite Northern Ireland with the Republic of Ireland. The movie places the story into a time almost two decades after peace was finally established. It’s probably fair to say that in 2017 the topic was a lot less controversial for most people, and thus may be suited to be cast into an action thriller template.
In a good political thriller the dialogues are just as intense as the action scenes and The Foreigner is stellar in this department. The grim outlook of triggering another civil war in Northern Ireland results in a frantic political game. The power struggle between London and Belfast is a key element of the plot, and the resolve and ruthlessness of the politicians involved is portrayed very believable.
The film has some difficulties in resolving all its plot elements, as by necessity it needs to reserve room for the action scenes, and is not a three-hour political thriller epic like JFK. That being said, Campbell wraps up everything as efficient as possible, I think. Another slight detriment is that the movie skips any introduction on the historical background and jumps right into the plot. While that works well to immediately a sense of immersion, it may create some confusion for people who are not familiar with the topic.
The Foreigner is not an all-out action movie, but there’s a good chunk of thrills besides the political intrigues. They involve Quan most of the time, and Jackie Chan shows that he can still pack a serious punch as a 63-year old ex-special ops agent. He does not deliver his usual comical martial arts, in The Foreigner every punch hurts, and when someone is thrown through a window, they also look the part afterwards. The fight scenes definitely are not as artistic as his classic performances, but look rather realistic with intense outbursts of raw violence.
You’ll also see Jackie Chan him like you never have in a movie, sad, broken, and hopeless. He’s also actually looking his age and not covered under an inch of makeup. His character Quan is put in a situation with nothing to lose, and he pursues his self-anointed task relentlessly until the bitter end. Chan’s role is contrasted by his counterpart Hennessy (played by Pierce Brosnan), deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland. He is a hardened ex-IRA veteran, and now a successful politician who has his reckoning coming. Brosnan is great in his role, he’s blunt and clever, and leaves no doubt that he’ll draw a gun from his desk to shoot anyone who infuriates him.
Chan’s and Brosnan’s intense performance only add to the high quality of this gripping and intelligent action thriller. Campbell masterfully succeeds in blending a complex political plot with Quan’s quest for vengeance without the need for lavish sets or gimmicky special effects. The Foreigner certainly is a very different beast from your typical Jackie Chan movie with fairly grounded action sequences that are still a lot more kick-ass than those of your average Tom Clancy adaptation.
